Cats go moo
by Polaris18
Summary: Eyes is on a sugar high! Kanone is drunk! Random insanity! And...misuse of hot dogs...? R&R! Please? For the rainbow colored monkeys?


Disclaimer: (pokes Eyes) Come on…say it, slave!

Eyes: Bloody 'ell…she doesn't own it…only me and my soul, Yaiba, Hizumi and crumpets.

Polaris: Good boy. You can sleep in my bed tonight.

Eyes: …It's better than the couch…

A/N: PHWEEE! Random insanity! Eyes is on a sugar high! Kanone is drunk! Chaos ensues in the Blade Children hell! Tap dancing pigs and unicorns are my fluffy rainbow buddies! (takes deep breaths) Ok, sorry. I just have to get this out of my system before I continue working on my many neglected fics. Let's get on with it!

Cats go moo

XXX

It really wasn't one of his greatest days. Eyes Rutherford felt different today. Lighter…somewhat…happy? Giddy? No…euphoric. In fact, euphoric was an understatement.

He didn't know what had come over him, what had changed him in this way. He threw off his calm, British stoic and bounced off the walls, as hyper as hell. "Look, Kanone, I'm a bunny!" the boy yelped as he jumped from one side of the room to the other. "And dancing octopuses with top hats that drink tea and eat crumpets, but only on Tuesdays!" he screamed like a madman, giving his lover a migraine.

Yes, Kanone was having his own problems. He was drunk. "I dunno how many puffy shrimp crackers can carry me across the moon…" he groaned.

Eyes paused only a second to stare at his boyfriend. "It's seven!" he screamed. "And Kousuke in a cute dress! WHEEEEE!" he flails about wildly. "I wanna be in a cute dress! And have cute meat puppets as friends! Cats go moo! I wanna be a kitty!"

His brain implodes.

Eyes stands there, his mind in a blank. "Bloody fucking hell." He groaned. Then he snapped.

The British teen turned and pulled out a gun, aiming it at Kousuke. "Put yo hands up my bizzle! Mi nizzle fo shizzle wizzle da dizzle pizzle!" he yelled, gangster style. "I'm from da hood and I don' play dat shit!"

Kousuke blinked. "What the hell?"

Ryoko's dead body fell from the ceiling and killed the confused redhead.

"Wheee! I seduce little school girls!" Eyes yelled, waving his gun in the air and dancing around the couch, further aggravating a very pissed off Kanone.

"Nuuu, I want to be shedushed by yuuu, tooo!" Kanone grinned sexily at his lover, who was currently stuffing uncooked hot dogs down his pants.

"You gots shomethings down there…" Kanone chuckled, growing aroused at the sight.

Eyes paid no attention, but just shouted out random babble for each hot dog he crammed into his boxers. "Bunny!"

Another hot dog was added.

"Llama!"

Another.

"THE DEER!"

Eyes bucked his hips, groaning out loud, more than aroused by the meat product against his growing erection.

"Moo, damnit, moo!" he growled, grinding a frankfurter against himself. He was soon moaning in bliss and was about to explode. When he did, his thick, white cum shot out in streams. "Kumogoro beam!" Eyes yelled loudly, throwing back his head. "Three days till Halloween! Homophobes go to hell!" he screamed. "I'm not a lesbian!" once he was finished.

"I didn't shay you weeere, damnit…" Kanone groaned as he jerked himself off in the corner of the room.

"I'm going to call in the Professional Fangirl Glomping Company, if you don't shut up!" Rio yelled from the bedroom.

Eyes continued to play with himself, yanking down his pants and trying to get himself hard again. When he finally succeeded, he burst out in another string of more random-ness. "GOOD MOOOOOOOOORNING, MR. SUNSHINE!" he sang joyfully to his cock. "Lemon sherbert! School is a conspiracy!" he continued to sing.

Kanone glanced back at his hyper-active lover, who was now gloriously naked and wearing a turban atop that silver head of his. "I'm Aladdin!" the boy squealed in a girl-ish manner. "Alladin is Bin Laden's son! Phweeee!"

A chicken in a bikini danced across the room, doing the Macarena.

"It's the furby from hell!" Eyes shrieked, pointing at the animal. A loud flushing was heard in the bathroom, and a lion came out of the toilet and started complaining about the lousy service at Denny's. Eyes looked at the beast, ignoring the demonic furby and ate the lion. After he was finished, he grinned. "Spiky fruit punch monkeys in my noooooodles!" he sang in an extremely whiny voice. "Sparkly hamster deluxe! I want the spicy curry!"

He began to dance with the chicken.

Kanone flopped back onto the couch. "I wants mooore booze…" he slurred.

Eyes paid no attention. "I'm wiggin' out! Fuck yeah! Tomato! Tomato! Tomato!" his mind went blank. "Feh. The tomato. Sacrificial goats. Like Kousuke…I don't like people stealing my food! Hey, give me back my breadstick!" he yelled to Kanone, who was laughing his ass off due too the fact that he was totally wasted.

"I'm so hyper I can't see straight." The Brit. Complained, regaining his sanity for a brief instant, before the sugar took control once more. "Long live the beard! Things that piss off Eyes-chan! A caffeine induced Eyes!" he began referring to himself in third person. "Pyromaniacs, leprechauns, and multicolored bears, oh my! Fangirl-ism!" he counted off all the things that pissed him off. Halfway during the middle of naming the things on the list, he took his gun out again and killed Kanone, then committed suicide.

Eyes woke up, panting and covered in a light sheen of sweat. Those frightened azure orbs scanned his surroundings. He was still in his room where he had fallen asleep moments after he had consumed a large piece of chocolate cake. Kanone was sleeping peacefully beside him. Both had been exhausted from the party thrown for Kousuke. Booze and chocolate cake were the only things served. As he lay back down, Eyes silently reminded himself to never eat chocolate again. It gives him horrid nightmares…

A/N: Enough insanity for you? Good! Cause there might be a sequel to this! (grins) The Blachi's go to IHOP! What could it mean? Is it International House Of Pancakes, or I Hate Old People! Either way, insanity will commence! Bye-cha!


End file.
